Money - minded girls

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names And addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I¹ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

- Ms. Pretty

Here’s a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term  same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advise that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.
signed, Zack~

Many different types of girls that proves to be a total retard

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.

Bad Results & Tired

Joke of the day:
1)Q: What’s the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: When the baby look like the father, its Biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!

2)Bill walks into a bar and finds his friend Joe sitting on a stool.

“Joe,” Bill said, “I’m glad to see that your wife finally let you out of the house.”

“Things have been different with my wife,” Joe said. “In fact, just the other day, I decided to show her who was the boss.”

“How did you do that?” asked Bill.

“I simply said to her, ‘Mabel, we are going to have it out right now, and I am going to show you who the boss is in this relationship’.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I don’t want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.”

“How did you do that?”

“I was hiding under the bed at the time.”

3) BOY : Since we met, I can’t eat or drink…

GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I’m broke.

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life…

1st MAN : I’m worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mother : No, Peter. Why?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, “Oh god, are you still there?”

Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money.
Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and consideration to me?
Man : By cheque, money order or cash.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven’t finished the water I gave them last week.

Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it’s a sponge cake, isn’t it?

Man : I’m new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.

Lets seeeeee..............................................................today..........................................................is a boring day cuz no com till 10.15pm. IS LIKE OMG~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. End post.......i know its funny.
Another Joke/ A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”

WresTling Mania!~

Joke of the day : 01. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.

03. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

04. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

05. Get rid of your cat.

06. Sunday = sports.

07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

09. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I Love You” like sex.

This IS WOULD MAN LIKE TO SAY TO WOMAN

Please Add Me At My New MSN

add me at my new msn : pures-tart@hotmail.com

Returned!~

Hey people,my bad for not posting for lets seee i dun know and dun care...well most important thing is i am back and will be posting 5 jokes. Hmm lets see ....today is wednesday,got dnt and see other groups present. Well its boring so lysha started to write on my file "Zack is a plankton" Than i started to draw 9 different planktons mwhahaha... after that than recess than langarts which is my turn tomorrow ... "Dead" "R.I.P". After school some unfortunate things happend and saw andrew=.= in the mrt or lrt. Ate MaC and blah blah blah me and andrew cheap thrill in the mrt talking about something ;) . than reach home abt 3 and study for oral. OMG right?! i cant believe it too.
Jokes of the day:
1) Three American blonds were lost in Vietnam(during the war),they had no water no food for days.

While walking they met Aladdin Genie,and he says:”i’ll give each one of u two wishes”

The 1st. says:”i want u to bring me one “diet cola” and to send me back to my family cuz i miss them soooo much and so she was back to the states happily.

The 2nd says “i want u to send me back to my boy friend and to give me 50$ so i can buy him a present and so she was back to the states kissing her man cheerfully.

The 3rd was like heeeeeey u smart ass u think u’re smart ha. trying to send my friends away from me so i’ll be all alone, bring them back right now.

2) A black man talks to a white man:

When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I’m sick I’m black,
When I go in the sun I’m black,
When I’m cold I’m black,
When I die I’ll be black.

But you:
When you’re born you’re pink,
When you grow up you’re white,
When you’re sick, you’re green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you’re cold you turn blue,
and when you die you turn purple.

And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!

3) God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news, what do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these, great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough of a blood supply to work one at a time.”

4)  man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

First Guy (proudly) : “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

5) There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave.

So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?”

The salesclerk replies, “We don’t sell Microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, “we don’t sell microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way.

The blonde asks how he knows she is a blonde. The clerk says, “That isn’t a microwave it’s a TV.”

*Note: Blonds Are Dumb* -No Racism Intended-

SBS Transit day and TELL ME YOUR NAME- FROSTY

Today is yesterday , tomorrow is future , yesterday is tomorrow . Anyone know what it means? Cuz I dont. So lets begin my today. Today is a very bad day. First period chinese...sian...got test somemore..never learn lo typical me wad.(: lol. Then after chinese is....umm....umm...science lesson. A gay came in and did I mention he is a red cross teacher apparantly., probably. Then umm...its sbs transit period. That mofo scold here scold there-.- lame shit. Cb . But most importantly,he must be so poor tat he wore a sbs transit shirt to school so after school no need change shirt can go work as bus-driver le woo I dam creative right. Lol. Then everything same as every thursday(:
Lunched at yoshinoya then homed
Joke of Zack day; 1) What is a KISS?
It’s an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
2) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take shower.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.
3) Why is your dick better than a credit card?
1.Once spent recharges itself.
2.It is accepted worldwide.
3.You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbor’s son has a penis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it’s small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it’s salty!!!
5) A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
6) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies? MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
7) Women top 5 lies:
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can’t do that to my best friend.
2. I won’t gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic.
She says: What is that?
He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.
9) What is the closest thing to a woman’s period?
Your SALARY… It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn’t come, you are F*CKED!!!