Money - minded girls

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names And addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I¹ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

- Ms. Pretty

Here’s a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term  same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advise that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.
signed, Zack~

Many different types of girls that proves to be a total retard

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.

Bad Results & Tired

Joke of the day:
1)Q: What’s the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: When the baby look like the father, its Biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!

2)Bill walks into a bar and finds his friend Joe sitting on a stool.

“Joe,” Bill said, “I’m glad to see that your wife finally let you out of the house.”

“Things have been different with my wife,” Joe said. “In fact, just the other day, I decided to show her who was the boss.”

“How did you do that?” asked Bill.

“I simply said to her, ‘Mabel, we are going to have it out right now, and I am going to show you who the boss is in this relationship’.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I don’t want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.”

“How did you do that?”

“I was hiding under the bed at the time.”

3) BOY : Since we met, I can’t eat or drink…

GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I’m broke.

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life…

1st MAN : I’m worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mother : No, Peter. Why?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, “Oh god, are you still there?”

Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money.
Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and consideration to me?
Man : By cheque, money order or cash.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven’t finished the water I gave them last week.

Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it’s a sponge cake, isn’t it?

Man : I’m new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.

Lets seeeeee..............................................................today..........................................................is a boring day cuz no com till 10.15pm. IS LIKE OMG~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. End post.......i know its funny.
Another Joke/ A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”

WresTling Mania!~

Joke of the day : 01. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.

03. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

04. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

05. Get rid of your cat.

06. Sunday = sports.

07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

09. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I Love You” like sex.

This IS WOULD MAN LIKE TO SAY TO WOMAN

Please Add Me At My New MSN

add me at my new msn : pures-tart@hotmail.com

Returned!~

Hey people,my bad for not posting for lets seee i dun know and dun care...well most important thing is i am back and will be posting 5 jokes. Hmm lets see ....today is wednesday,got dnt and see other groups present. Well its boring so lysha started to write on my file "Zack is a plankton" Than i started to draw 9 different planktons mwhahaha... after that than recess than langarts which is my turn tomorrow ... "Dead" "R.I.P". After school some unfortunate things happend and saw andrew=.= in the mrt or lrt. Ate MaC and blah blah blah me and andrew cheap thrill in the mrt talking about something ;) . than reach home abt 3 and study for oral. OMG right?! i cant believe it too.
Jokes of the day:
1) Three American blonds were lost in Vietnam(during the war),they had no water no food for days.

While walking they met Aladdin Genie,and he says:”i’ll give each one of u two wishes”

The 1st. says:”i want u to bring me one “diet cola” and to send me back to my family cuz i miss them soooo much and so she was back to the states happily.

The 2nd says “i want u to send me back to my boy friend and to give me 50$ so i can buy him a present and so she was back to the states kissing her man cheerfully.

The 3rd was like heeeeeey u smart ass u think u’re smart ha. trying to send my friends away from me so i’ll be all alone, bring them back right now.

2) A black man talks to a white man:

When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I’m sick I’m black,
When I go in the sun I’m black,
When I’m cold I’m black,
When I die I’ll be black.

But you:
When you’re born you’re pink,
When you grow up you’re white,
When you’re sick, you’re green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you’re cold you turn blue,
and when you die you turn purple.

And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!

3) God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news, what do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these, great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough of a blood supply to work one at a time.”

4)  man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

First Guy (proudly) : “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

5) There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave.

So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?”

The salesclerk replies, “We don’t sell Microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, “we don’t sell microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way.

The blonde asks how he knows she is a blonde. The clerk says, “That isn’t a microwave it’s a TV.”

*Note: Blonds Are Dumb* -No Racism Intended-

Dragonica (:

Ok I am back from my freedom and when I say freedom I mean anti-parents haha(: my mother went to bangkok which means I am freeeeeeeeee . . . . . . Wooot(:
On friday 1.20, I came back from school and on my com and went to bathe. Got ready to go out ,actually want to go pool BUT sc tell me shavian dont want go. So cancel lo-...- sian. At home play com for whole day and by tat I mean 24hours But since my mother went to bangkok until sunday night, I ordered pizza and I continued play com till sunday night without sleeping But then got tuition la so sian make me cannot play until shiok shiok . My english tuition teacher last min tell me change tuition timing till 2 cb-...- so today I dam sleepy at school larh play till 50hours of com(: today nothing interesting happen so I not going to post today except for today's paper which we read in english period . And the topic is the most intersting topic is the topic of all topics which is SEX. Sex is good for health(: But we must remember that safety comes first so always use a condom and remember my sex rule which is in my one of my post(: . By now you guys must be thinking I must be a pervert But I am not la I am just more fun to be with(:Cya~~
Joke of the day: Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, “How much is that faucet?”
The manager replied, “That’s a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.”
Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It’s certainly out of my price bracket.”
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. “Ma’am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?” Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, “No, but I will for the faucet.”
 P.S I was lying about the Never slping part. like duh

I wan to sleep day.

Hmmm...any suggestions on I how to start always same starting line ... Hmmm... So same happening every Morning always almost late But never. School was typical But history need present ;o no big deal(: LOL.
Today got some ppl detention . Aww...epic(: I wonder Why I dont have. Oo today was boring except Maybe for maths. Lol. End post(: cya~
Joke of the day: A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.
The young man lowers his window. “Uh, yes, officer?”
The cop says: “What are you doing?”
The young man says: “Well Officer, I’m reading a magazine.”
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?”
The young man shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover sweater.”
Now, the cop is totally confused.. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover’s lane… and nothing obscene is happening!
The cop asks: “What’s your age, young man?” The young man says “I’m 22, sir.”
The cop asks: “And her…what’s her age?”
The young man looks at his watch and replies: “She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.”

'ORAL' day haha

Hmmm...today was my pa duty day so I have to wake up early and go to school early. But being a typical me, I am not early nor too late. School was boring as usual. Chinese>History>recess>Langarts>Maths>Geo. Geography worst subject But I got 17/20 for my test. OMG. End of school still got oral so sian...i last one somemore-...- . Still need to wait for someone walk there lol(: after oral went bc house . Watch WWE and we tried on each other(cm me bc) around 6 we went home. They lend me three disc of wwe so I slowly watch lol. Cya~ I go try on someone liao(:
Question of the day: Someone told me that a gal's sanitary pad can use for 5days leh isit true leh? Credited by Sijia.
Joke of the day: Angel returned from school one day.
Dad: “Hey honey, why are u crying?”
Angel: “Coz Matt and i broke the classroom’s windows while playing and Miss Claire punish us.”
Dad: “Oh, did she hit u?”
Angel: “No”.
Dad: “Is the punishment too harsh?”
Angel: “No. She punish us by asking us to write our names a hundred times.”
Dad: “So why are u crying?”
Angel: “Coz Matt’s full name is just Matt Mike but my full name is Angelina Elizabeth Mcgrady!”

Oops forget to post joke for saturday. Well here it is.

Joke of the saturday: A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!

Saddening saturday

Well today something happen at home. So today gona be a short post
Cya~ you can ask me if you wan But depending on my mood if I will tell you

I AM BACK. Answer to the first joke for the answer(:

Yo ppl. I not gona be bhb like some ppl. Well that troll in my tagbox is someone which is lame. Hes a no lifer so dont worry about him. Lets get back to the topic. So today is friday...hmmm... Woke up at about 6.30 like usual and going to school about to late like usual. School was boring as usual and after school still got pa . Which was robotics.o.o need programming and building(: apparently jacky cant programme epic(: hahaha. After robotics which is about 4-4.30 me sc and cm and jacky went pass red cross room and I said the adv from tv about the new drinks which goes like *wa!今天的天与地大cu消　整天都在补获补获补获 then suddenly all gone! *carrying the heaven and earth drinks to shelf* 我的背我的背 wo ok!(: end.
Then, after that went back home,bathed and went to somewhere and got my dinner(: cya~
Answer for the difference between the pulling of curtains and pulling of panties down :x is pulling of curtains in a theatre means SHOWS OVER But pulling of panties down means you gona have *ehem* so it means SHOW TIME*tats de answer. And the second joke about de coach,as the kid mother scold all sorts of things which is not sportsmanlike so the coach tell de kid to explain to his mother all these. The third joke is about de baby which we know tat falling onto a carpet will have little sound being produced cuz carpet lo then no carpet de baby will hit de floor and produce a sound bang(: tats Why.
Joke of the day~Law in Sex
1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

New Msn Account For StandBy

Add me at pures-tar@richman.com

Why No Answer To My Joke?

Hi PPPPEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPS, I am posting today again=.=. EEeee why nobody post ans for joke de=.= Very difficult meh? The ans is related to time=D. i cant post using phone le so wont so often post =X. Hope More ppl tag me blog~ Post Your ANSWERS for the very first joke so i can post more questioning joke. Cya Losers=D. Had a hard time thinking this. Most importantly, I want to create a new msn acc cuz mine tio blocked~___~ see if i can fix anot lo. BO BIAN.

Joke Of the day: At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year- old baseball players aside and asked,
“Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?

The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s bad sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb asshole’ isn’t it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

Boring tuesday

Hi guys(: 本少爷回来了. So lets see...woke up at around 10am,then,being dragged by my mother to pray..zzz boring wors. After being bored, my grandma called me and ask me whether we( my two bros and my mother unfortunately) want to go and lunch with her. Then ok lor since at home, only can noob around nia. Eat liao, we 3 go arcade to play . When we play racing then got three kids come join in, we were like wtf? Obviously we left cuz later bully kids(: haha around 4, we went shopping and I bought a new wallet.yay.cya
Losers..P.S. Leave your ans for my previous joke at my previous post in de tagbox(:
Joke of the day.A new mother went to the psychiatrist worried.
“Doctor,” she said, “Since I had the baby I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?”
“Easy,” said the doctor. “Just take the carpet off the floor.”

First post & at mediacorp office post de ;D

Woke up at around 1pm today, quite early right.? I knew you guys are gona say yupp. Got sore throat leh probably because i ate too much spicy food.Hahas. Than went to nearby coffee shop eat lo just like usual=.=. After eating, My laobu bring me go her office(mediacorp) do her stuff while i at her boss' office play lo but than cannot run. CB. about 6.30 then go off. And i will post a joke daily or should i say when i am posting. You guys need to guess the answer to that joke for some and leave your answer in the tagboard.Winners shall be rewarded $2. haha joke of the day.What is de difference between the pulling of the curtains of a theatre and pulling down a panties.;P . Ans shall be revealed when 5 or more ppl post their ans
Noob~ ;D