WresTling Mania!~

Joke of the day : 01. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.

03. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

04. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

05. Get rid of your cat.

06. Sunday = sports.

07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

09. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I Love You” like sex.

This IS WOULD MAN LIKE TO SAY TO WOMAN

Please Add Me At My New MSN

add me at my new msn : pures-tart@hotmail.com

Returned!~

Hey people,my bad for not posting for lets seee i dun know and dun care...well most important thing is i am back and will be posting 5 jokes. Hmm lets see ....today is wednesday,got dnt and see other groups present. Well its boring so lysha started to write on my file "Zack is a plankton" Than i started to draw 9 different planktons mwhahaha... after that than recess than langarts which is my turn tomorrow ... "Dead" "R.I.P". After school some unfortunate things happend and saw andrew=.= in the mrt or lrt. Ate MaC and blah blah blah me and andrew cheap thrill in the mrt talking about something ;) . than reach home abt 3 and study for oral. OMG right?! i cant believe it too.
Jokes of the day:
1) Three American blonds were lost in Vietnam(during the war),they had no water no food for days.

While walking they met Aladdin Genie,and he says:”i’ll give each one of u two wishes”

The 1st. says:”i want u to bring me one “diet cola” and to send me back to my family cuz i miss them soooo much and so she was back to the states happily.

The 2nd says “i want u to send me back to my boy friend and to give me 50$ so i can buy him a present and so she was back to the states kissing her man cheerfully.

The 3rd was like heeeeeey u smart ass u think u’re smart ha. trying to send my friends away from me so i’ll be all alone, bring them back right now.

2) A black man talks to a white man:

When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I’m sick I’m black,
When I go in the sun I’m black,
When I’m cold I’m black,
When I die I’ll be black.

But you:
When you’re born you’re pink,
When you grow up you’re white,
When you’re sick, you’re green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you’re cold you turn blue,
and when you die you turn purple.

And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!

3) God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news, what do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these, great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough of a blood supply to work one at a time.”

4)  man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

First Guy (proudly) : “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

5) There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave.

So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?”

The salesclerk replies, “We don’t sell Microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair red, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, “we don’t sell microwaves to blondes.”

So the next day she dyes her hair brunette and goes and asks the same question. The salesclerk replies the same way.

The blonde asks how he knows she is a blonde. The clerk says, “That isn’t a microwave it’s a TV.”

*Note: Blonds Are Dumb* -No Racism Intended-